Wills for people with young children

Young parents typically have modest assets and the strongest reason of anyone to have a will, because the will decides who raises their children.

The guardian nomination

A will can nominate a guardian for minor children.

The court makes the final decision, applying the child's best interests, and a parental nomination carries substantial weight and is generally followed absent a compelling reason.

Without a nomination, the court decides among whoever applies, which may produce an outcome neither parent would have chosen and can involve a contested hearing between relatives.

Both parents should nominate the same person, since inconsistent nominations create exactly the dispute the document was meant to prevent.

Choosing

The considerations that matter in practice.

Willingness. Ask first. Being named without warning is a substantial imposition.

Values and approach to raising children, which frequently matters more than affection.

Age and health. Grandparents are the instinctive choice and may not be able to raise a child for another fifteen years.

Location. Whether the children would move away from school, friends and the surviving side of the family.

Their own family situation, including whether adding children would be workable.

Financial capacity, though this is largely addressed by the money arrangements below.

Naming a successor is important, and so is revisiting the choice as circumstances change.

It is also worth separating the roles: the person best placed to raise the children is not necessarily the best person to manage the money, and appointing different people for each is common and sensible.

The money arrangements

Where more damage is done than in the guardian choice.

Minor children cannot receive assets outright. Without planning, an inheritance is generally held under a court-supervised arrangement and delivered in full at the age of majority.

Which means a young adult receiving a substantial sum, potentially including life insurance proceeds, with no structure.

The standard solution is a trust for the children's benefit, either created within the will or as a separate document, with a trustee managing funds and distributing for their needs.

Distribution can be staged — a portion at twenty-five, more at thirty, the remainder at thirty-five is a common pattern — or left to trustee discretion for defined purposes such as education, housing and health.

Setting the ages higher than feels necessary is generally the better error.

Life insurance

For most young families this is the largest asset that would exist on a death.

The critical point: the beneficiary designation on the policy controls, not the will.

Naming minor children directly as beneficiaries recreates the problem the trust was meant to solve.

Where a trust exists, the policy should generally name the trust as beneficiary so the proceeds are managed under its terms.

Term insurance covering the years until children are independent is inexpensive relative to the protection, and it is the single most cost-effective item in a young family's planning.

The simultaneous death problem

Uncomfortable and worth addressing.

Wills should provide for what happens if both parents die together, since that scenario is the reason the guardian nomination exists.

This includes naming a guardian, establishing the trust arrangements, and ensuring the plan does not depend on assets passing to a spouse who is also deceased.

The document that is not a will

Worth writing separately, and it costs nothing.

A letter to the guardian setting out practical and personal information: the children's routines, medical needs, schools, friendships, what they are frightened of, your hopes for their upbringing, and anything about religion, education or values you would want carried forward.

This has no legal force and it is enormously useful to someone suddenly raising children they did not raise from birth.

The temporary arrangement

A practical gap that is frequently overlooked.

A court appointment takes time. In the immediate aftermath, someone has to care for the children that day.

Some states permit a document nominating a temporary or standby guardian for exactly this interval.

Failing that, making sure a trusted local person knows they are the intended first contact, and that schools and childcare providers have their details, covers the immediate period.

Review

Circumstances change quickly at this stage of life.

Reviewing after each birth, after any change in the guardian's circumstances, and after any move is worthwhile, and the review takes minutes once the document exists.

General information only, not legal advice. Guardianship law varies by state — consult a qualified attorney about your own circumstances.